" I spend a long time existing, and now, I intend to live."

On crankiness

I get that some people are especially cranky and grumpy at the mornings. What makes me sad is, when you ask them not to be mean to you and, instead of thinking “yea, she could be right, it’s possible, so I’m going to think about what I’m saying out laud” they start to be even more mean, because you pointed out that they’re little bit cranky. Which is normal and understandable and sometimes everybody is without even noticing. And than it hurst, because they punish you for being honest and than they get all ofensive and “we shouldn’t see each other anymore” or something like that. And that brings more pain and stuff. Although the simplest think is to say something like “oh, am I grumpy? ok, sorry, I’ll try not to be, it’s just the morning/work/lack of sleep/whatever”

Why kick to other people just to defend yourself, even though it is not necessary. They like you, that’s why they told you something  So why kick, why punish, isn’t that kind of contra productive? Doesn’t that mess up things even more? 

"Why do you have Darth Vader’s mask as a necklace??" Emmm… maybe because I frexing like it? Grrrh. Humans.

So, in last few days I

1) passed my driving licence test, although due to the stupid Czech Republic system I will not be able to drive until 10th of September, when I’m (hopefully) going to get the stupid plastic card that says that I’m a driver.  

2) figured out, that I can’t beat Onychophagia (nice word for nail biting, huh?) only with perfect-but-fake nails and time. After six months of acrylic nails I still gnaw the hell out of my real ones every time I loose one of the acrylics. And I have a confession to make – in last couple of weeks I started to tear away my real nails under my fake ones, destroying them anyway, leaving only a pretty facade, but not tackling my compulsive behavior. Yea, sadly it’s not a bad habit, it’s an ocd thing. So, in order to do something, since paying for acrylic nails every two to three weeks is financially exhausting and it’s not really changing my compulsive behavior any more, I ordered the Tangle therapy toy (almost impossible to get here) and got the czech version of silly putty to occupy my fingers until it arrives. Hope it helps at least a little bit. 

3) finally bought that amazing board which Sheldon uses to fold his clothes (in Czech Republic a device never seen before the Big Bang Theory came up). Just to pleasure myself. With nicely folded laundry. Yea. 

4) ordered a book about collocations and rhetoric slogans. Since I’m pretending to be a proofreader and grammar corrector for a culture magazine, it’s sounds logical to pump up my grammar skills in czech. Pretty funny business, somebody who used to be known as a lousy speller is trying to edit other people’s writings.

It must be pretty weird to see a 25yo girl screaming her lungs out ‘cause she got lego for her birthday. But you know what, I don’t care. Mum bought me Jek-14’ Stealth Starfighter, total surprise and like come on dad, I’m just happy, deal with it. 

Yeah, my mum was quite thoughtful this year. On the other hand, my dad got me a green Yunnan tea from Oxalis which is this really low quality tea shop. Since I’m teanazi, who spends ridiculous amount of money on high quality tea it does not make any sense. But whatever, today is good. And that’s quite unusual for birthday, since I normally almost hate those. But this year’s good so far. 

… you are my favorite Simon’s cat. Sleeping and eating, moody and playful, grumpy and mischievous. Just a true cat. And I… I’m the kitten. 

As a backer who supported (via czech version of kickstarter) this amazing guy who wants to build a local tea press (you know, for those tea cakes similar to pu-erh only made from tea from Georgia) I received tea cake that I named myself. It’s La Citadelle de Temps Persistent since I was reading Exupéry’s Citadel at the moment… Can’t wait to try it, I just need the right moment. 

Let me tell you one thing. Waking up straight to a panic attack sucks. Breathe in. Breath out. Nope, still sucks.